Me with my own Demons

Self-sabotage at work here, Big Time

Perasan kurang yakin datang semula.


Bila kita mula cuba nak tulis blog kita akan rasa kita nak jenguk blog-blog orang lain to see whether where we are. Are we good enough? Tu yang buat makcik start reading other peolpe's blog.

Seriously? Ya, I am basically a book reading person .  Makcik just recently actually started reading blogs.

The thing that sucks is that I find other people's blogs are SO good. (This is DENGKI, I see you you DEMON)  

Their webpage nice, and that these people seems to have been blogging all their lives. Amende they call it? Influencer?

Scary tau.  All those , " Am i good enough? " , thoughts all come tumbling down on you. 

Then again , actually makcik takut kat apa?

I started this blog to write down my travels , my musings. I want to practise my writing. I wanted to record my recipes for my children to refer to after I'm dead. My way of preparing myself for my own demise, other than the mandatory practises.  

There's this stupid thing about wanting my blog to be READ  (riak, another DEMON) . but wehh no readers no traffic, how laa to make money from blogging? 

Then again , I value my privacy like nobody's business. See my real name anywhere here? 

Nak tulis pasal politik? Post controversial stuff ?  Do i have the juice for all that? Tak larat la nak gaduh-gaduh trying to straighten all benang , wet or not. By nature pun makcik not confrontational. Disturbs my mental peace. 

In the real world I am a certified professional in my field and yet again I find it rather daunting to have it known what I really do for life.  Am I not confident that I am good enough in what I do everyday?

No , not that . Free consultations are risky, and medicolegally not in my favour. Pasaii tu duk diam-diam dulu, until I am sure how to include that part in to my writings.

I just want to do a good job , I suppose. To have my blog contribute something to making this world a little better place to live in. I want to do this without messing up any flour. Paham? 

Seperti menarik rambut dari tepung, rambut jangan putus, tepung jangan berserak. orang muda-muda mana tahu idiom ni. Dalam buku teks bahasa melayu ada?

Not controversial may mean no audience laa. Really? Something to experiment on.

Ada any budding writers feel this way out there ?

Mai la share with me your experience.